painful reading

Oh my god.  I really didn't want to ever have a ranting post but I have to... okay..

what the hell.. is up with TWILIGHT?!  I don't even know where to begin!  In normal circumstances, I read a book I don't like and move on.  But this shit keeps slapping me in the face everywhere I look!  Only cool people have Twilight STATIONARY?!  Obviously my curiosity got the better of me and I actually read Twilight.  All. Four. Books.

To briefly explain, Twilight is censored vampire erotica for pre-teens as told by a Mormon.  Not kidding.  She writes about as good as a preteen too.  And let me tell you, I have never read anything more blatantly sexist.. it even trumps books that are supposed to take place when women weren't allowed to vote.  It's about two lovebirds: Edward the 100 year old vampire virgin and Bella the 17 year old bane of my existence.  They have no interests, no hobbies, no friends.. they just love each other because he likes the smell of her blood and she is the most insecure woman to ever exist.  She validates her life by his presence.  She has no goals for herself other than to become a vampire so they can love each other for their entire immortal existence (!!!!!)

What pisses me off the most is that this is what most girls reading it (ages 13-18) think love is.  They traded in mutual respect, commitment, friendship and attraction for the less used model of OBSESSIVE CRAZY. 

The only thing Edward says (paraphrased, though sadly not by much) : "I love you.. I love you.. I'm so angry at myself for putting you in danger.. I must flee forever into the abyss to hide my shame.  You're better off without my chiseled features and controlling existence.  Allow me to protect you from afar, feeble minded female mortal."

The only thing Bella says:  "I love you so much it hurts my weak mind.  I feel dizzy and my woman legs can't carry me.  Lift me, oh strong protector of the night."

And the movie was just close-ups of their faces for two hours in various intense expressions.

EFF MINUS! (F-)